Game of Thrones Characters as Real-life Boxing Stars: Part 1 Starks and Lannisters

The second season of HBO’s hit series Game of Thrones has made its highly anticipated debut. Based on the novels by George R.R. Martin, the story is driven by a deep and rich cast of characters who manage to be both fantastical and realistic.

That led me to the obvious next thought: who would be who if the characters from Game of Thrones were found in a real-life drama, often shown on HBO, with characters too crazy to try to dream up? Yes, I’m talking about boxing.

Let’s takes a look at the world of Game of Thrones as played by real-life boxers and boxing promoters. In Part 1, let’s assign some of the Stark and Lannister family and their cohorts to real-life boxers.

Robb Stark would be…

Manny Pacquiao. Burst onto the scene out of nowhere, with no believers, and suddenly became a wrecking ball. He’s soft spoken but fierce, he’s devout but he’s a warrior, and he’s a major player in the kingdom. Not only that, but he has the backing and love of his people who insist that he’s the true king.

Ned Stark would be….

Nobody! This character could never exist in the evil realm of boxing. Ned Stark is honest, moral and upright, even when it is blatantly against his own best interests. Ned Stark has no match.

Jon Snow, the Bastard, would be…

A composite of the unwanted, disregarded fighters falling victim to the bigger names in the industry. In other words – the opponents who get screwed by judges and promoters to prop up somebody with more hype. Think Carlos Molina and Erislandy Lara, perhaps. There’s nothing that separates Jon from his half-siblings besides his last name, and nothing that separates these guys from more well known fighters besides promotional or managerial backing. But clearly, somebody is getting the short end of the stick here.

Theon Greyjoy…

Adrien Broner. This guy is a little bit of a loose cannon. He’s brash, outspoken, young and talented. But whose side is he really on, and when the going gets tough, what can we expect from him? Is he playing up a part, or is this the real him? Will he live up to his potential, or will he get lost in the mix?

Hodor would be…

Nikolay Valuev. Sorry, but this one was too obvious to avoid. He’s huge and he’s strong, and he’s viewed as a bit of an oddity. Without his size and strength, what would he bring to the table?

Tywin Lannister would be…

Bob Arum. He’s the patriarch of the wealthiest and most powerful operation in the kingdom. While this wealth and power could accomplish much good, clearly, he is out for one thing and one thing alone: protecting his own best interests, and lining his own pockets. A new crop of young adversaries has done little to loosen his hold – cross this man at your own risk.

Cersei Lannister would be….

Don King. Knows all of the same tricks as Arum (Tywin) – in fact, has plenty of evil, sadistic capabilities entirely on his own. But clearly is now in a position where his power is starting to wane, and he must give way to some of the other people in the kingdom. Relinquishing power and ambition never is an easy pill to swallow, of course.

Jamie Lannister, the Kingslayer, would be…

Floyd Mayweather. He’s wealthy, and he rubs your nose in that. He’s super talented and accomplished… and he rubs your nose in that. He’s the best of the best in terms of sheer ability, and he makes sure that you know it. If you’re not on his side, you probably hate the guy. Morals? Questionable. Fighting ability? Unquestionable.

Tyrion Lannister, the Imp, would be…

Bernard Hopkins. Don’t worry about stature and physical appearance, think more about personality and background. He’s crafty and he’s clever, and he’s at his best when he’s counted out and overlooked – which happens quite often. Is typically the wittiest guy in the room, always ready with a quip, and always eager to engage in a mind game which he knows he’ll get the best of.

Be sure to check out part 2, which will take a look at the Game of Thrones characters in the Baratheon and Targaryen families.

This article was first published by Jake Emen on Yahoo! Sports on April 3, 2012.

Author: Jake Emen

I’m Jake, and I’m your host on this journey. I'm the man doing the eating and the talking around here. I’m a writer based outside of Washington, D.C., and I'm also talking whiskey, local events, travel, and other assorted misadventures. Follow me on the Tweet Machine - @ManTalkFood, or send an email to jake [at] mantalkfood.com.

Share This Post On

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *